So. Yes. Eroticon. Wow.
As you can tell from the one-word sentences, I’m still rather in the midst of its effects.
Over on that there Twitter (well, on her blog really but I saw it in a tweet), @writtenbyjenny has created a meme of “10 things I took home from Eroticon”, so while my thoughts are still gathering for longer posts, I thought I’d join in…
1) Friendships. I was about to say “friends” but that suggests I’d kidnapped people & brought them home with me, and… yeah, not really my kink that one ;-)
Part of my still screams that I ought to qualify this with “I hope I’m not presuming…” but really? 18 months chatting on Twitter, followed by RL meetings that include hugs? I’ve had relationships that got to the stage of meeting parents that were based on less than this. So yes. I have come home with warm & snuggly feelings of friendship.
And not forgetting the unexpected friendship gained via a mutual friend who wasn’t there.
2) Wonderful KinkCraft goodies that I made! Specifically a collar & cane. Like the handcuffs I made in 2015, I have no idea if I will ever wear/use them, but I love making things, and being able to say “I made that!” – It’s the same feeling I get from making Airfix kits (which I really need to do more of). Even if they do end up as purely decorative items, that doesn’t make them purposeless.
Although, that said, even without wielding it, the cane gave me wonderful feels on the journey home. I’m someone who dislikes crowds, especially the kind of crowds one gets at railway stations, and just the knowledge that “If anything happens which makes me feel unsafe, I can pull out my cane”? Yeah, nice. (Yes, I maybe have some issues & ought to go learn some martial arts or something so I know a bit of self defence. In the meantime, though, KinkCraft cane ftw!)
3) Hot Octopuss t-shirt! Which I’m wearing now, mostly because I don’t know if I have any other clean t-shirts in the house. But I will also be wearing it to work on, no doubt, many many occasions.
4) Mugs! Yay! Or maybe… I love them. Really, sincerely, I love the fact that people go to the effort & expense of getting mugs printed up with cool quotes & inspirational things and that. It’s lovely, but… we’re one of those households where crockery very rarely gets broken. And there’s a lot of people give away mugs, or buy us mugs for prezzies… and we have one of our kitchen cupboards completely full of mugs, and more hanging on hooks underneath, and at least 2 boxes of mugs stored in the loft… So I love these new mugs, but I don’t know where to keep them!
Guess it means we need to make headway on clearing out the workshop so I can keep some of our mugs down there for drinking tea whilst woodworking etc.
5) Thoughts. So many, many thoughts. Ideas for blog posts, vague ideas for maybe possibly proposing an article for a women’s magazine (though it’s so long since I read one of those I’d have a fuckton of research to do first), and thoughts specifically about identity kicked off by the anthology.
6) Plans – or maybe just an idea really – for a village event. Not saying anything more here, I’ll propose it to the events committee first. But maybe after the James Bond Ball this weekend…
7) Quotes & inspiration, some of which I’ve already tweeted:
“Write wholeheartedly with your soul, your vulnerability, and your flaws”
“Be brave. Fortune favours the bold & it will shine through in your work”
“Your writing is not a benevolent dictatorship. It is a dictatorship.”
“You can’t subvert quietly”
“Being a leader is a lonely place, but when you are a leader, others will follow”
– all @rachelkincaid4
“When you centre the most marginalised, you are including everyone.” – @FemmeReviews
8) Knowledge that fills in some of the gaps I’ve struggled with for a while: thanks to @DomSigns and @IAmAnnaSky’s sessions, both of which covered things I’ve done, but not known or thoroughly understood what it is I’m doing or why.
9) Handy hint about sparky tape. Many thanks to Andrew of KinkCraft for that one! I’ve used sparky tape many times in the past to cover cuts whilst on site, but hadn’t realised it works for blisters as well. Much cheaper than blister plasters too! (Though if any of the nursing professionals I know read this, I may be in for a lecture or three…)
10) JOY! The biggest one of the lot. Happy, joyful memories to help me through the harder times.
…and, just to put my own little twist on the meme, one thing I left behind at Eroticon was a whole hunk of fear. Thank you. All of you. Whether I spoke to you or not, whether our paths even crossed – it counted. My measure of being comfortable in a group of people is if I can feel happy just sitting quietly in a corner while everyone else chats between themselves. It sounds odd when I try to explain it, but there’s a difference between people who are actively excluding you, and people who just happen to be talking to someone else at the moment but may turn round at any point and include you in the conversation. And I definitely felt the right Eroticon was the right end of that spectrum when I sat quietly on a sofa in the pub on Saturday night, drinking my pint of coke and just… being.
The wording should really now say “I Attended…” but I am not going to be rude and mess around with someone else’s image…